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Saturday, November 1, 2008

When a long distance relationship is not long distance at all...

He's just a few buildings away from me at work.
Yet he cant find time to see me.
I tried to surprise him on our first monthsary by bringing him a cake and a special gift, but he never showed up because their conference meeting has just started when he arrived. So i ended up going home.

He's just a few miles away from where i live.
In fact only a few hours drive will get him to me.
He's not even out of the country to find it hard in visiting me at home when im sick.

But what do i get at the end of the day?
Wishful thinking that he'll make an effort "personally" to be with me.
All I get is an excuse that he's "too busy" to spend time with me.

I understand his line of work, and that he's the boss, and that his developers will have nothing left to do if he wont finish a project assigned to him.

But up to when will I be waiting?
If i'll be the one to make the first move, i'm afraid he'll think of me as a demanding or persistent girlfriend. What if he dont want a girl like that? I dont want to lose him just because I made a move to see him.

Besides,i already tried. And everytime i make my move, of setting up a date or meeting with him, i always get rejected with the same excuse. So I decide not to.

Now, help me.
I want to show him that I do understand his lack of time for me for the time being.
But I also want to let him know how difficult it is for me to just wait. Two months of not seeing each other is too much. I cant bear with it.

If only he is living on the other side of the world, i would understand...but he's not.
If the only communication line we have is just the internet, i would understand...but there's the telephone - he won't even give me a call, even at his break time.

I know most of you already knows the answer to my question and would say, "Girl, he's not just into you".

But consider this:

there was never a day he failed to say he loves and misses me even if he's in a middle of a meeting.

Even if he only sends those words on my cellphone, i still appreciate it.
But it takes more than that right?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

When my patience is put into test...

yeah...good things come to those who wait...

but when is being patient considered too much?

is it when all you could ever think of is when he/she will realize your existence?
is it when all you wish for is him/her by your side when you're feeling down?

or when its time to feel that you're being taken for granted by the one you love?

is there really such thing as waiting so long and being too much patient?




john.1014

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Meetup

Starbucks
Podium
September 1, 2008
2:15pm

I arrived 15mins late from the 2pm meeting we originally agreed to.Only to find out, he'll arrive by 3:00pm.

Well, that's alright. I was the one who told him not to go yet in our meeting place without me telling him to do so. Just so he can still finish his work and take care of his developers, and me to have time for travel. He just rushed out of the office to see me without asking for permission. Besides, he's the boss. So that's fine. Ü

Anyway, words are not enough to express how happy i am to finally see him. God, he really doesnt look his age at 30. He looked....25 Ü amazing...hehe..
He knows how to take care of himself and that's one thing I admire about him.

Another is he does multitasking very well..haha (i.e. having lunch on his desk while in a conferenced call and talking to me through YM Ü) not that he's unethical or anything, as long as he's not chewing while talking with his clients *wink*

Plus, he knows when to make me laugh and when to catch my emotions. In short,he sure knows how to handle a good conversation.

oOo
5:30pm

I just got home..
He said he enjoyed my company...
I said likewiseÜ

Friday, August 29, 2008

My long wait is over

it really feels good to love and be loved in return...
finally, after years of waiting, i felt so loved...
finally, i felt that this is my time to be pampered...
finally, i felt like this is my chance for love

its all about me now...
but of course, its always good to return the favor
and its unlike me to not give him the love he fully deserve.
thats where im good at..hehe (,^u^)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

These 3 words...it could change our lives forever

-august 26,2008 yahoo daily forecast-

Love comes to those who wait, but it also could use a jumpstart in the right direction. Today do something proactive to get this party started. There's no reason to be passive. Use initiative and make the first move!


oOo
guess i just did...
i made the first move to say sorry about the things i said to him for the past days...

guess i just did...
i told him i really missed him so much and i miss those happy times we've had

guess i just did...
i asked him if he really do love me,or just like me coz there's a big difference between those 2words... when all he said that time was the word "mahal"

guess i just did...
after realizing that i dont wna pressure him to say the 3words til he's ready...
i made the first move to say coz that's what i really feel

if i havent done that...
i wouldn't see him say...

john.08:26

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Dear Lie...

get out of my mouth...get out of my head...get out of my mind...stop puttin' words in my head...get out of my mouth...your nothing but trouble...get out of my life...get out of me...out of me...out of me lie...


am i just misjudging him? couldn't help but ask him yesterday if he's really into me or just out for sexual companionship.

i know i've hurt his feelings and ruined his mood...i didn't mean to...

he of course defended himself and got his point across.i understood.i just don't know why i keep on letting my mind overthink of what we really have.

as i told him..maybe im just really not the type of girl who's always up for a "sex talk". i do have some episodes though where im really in the mood to talk about it. sometimes i can even be so blunt about what i feel at the moment.

but that's just me...like what i told him, one day i could be so hyped...then the next day, i could be the most "kj" (killjoy) person he'll ever meet.

oOo
...but nothing can ever hide the fact that im falling for him...maybe i cant just totally give my trust to him as early as now. afraid of feeling used again and taken for granted.

i've been into relationships where i almost lose myself and gave them the trust i could offer...and in the end will just be left behind wondering what went wrong. and as soon as i would like to learn from it, here comes another instance when my trusting heart is up for another challenge.

...i just hope my instincts will prove me wrong...that he's indeed serious as what he says...coz if he's not, i dunno what im gonna do..will i get back in waiting for years to find the man of my dreams? and will i let my heart suffer again for another shot of getting broken?

john.08:22

Monday, August 18, 2008

A glimpse of my cyber life

It's really amazing how u get to know people from different walks of life in the internet. Yes they say people who go and meet online or even try their luck in searching for love online has no guarantee. But it's not that bad either. Of course there will always be some who'll just try it for fun and make fond of using other people's profile just to get hooked or something. But still, if you're lucky enough, you'll sooner or later find out that there are people who are real to themselves. No matter where they live or what they do for a living.

Some may say that "nah...you wont know if they're for real. because they can hide who they truly are once they're online"...But you really wont know til you meet them right?

Well, i haven't met this new friend of mine though.He said he's 30..living in Virginia Beach VA...He shared his stories from how his heart was broken by fil-am girls there, to how he really wanted to live a simple life...with Filipino values that was instilled in his heart from the time he was born, to how much he wants to come back here and live differently.

I know we just finished talking about our lives in YM...for about 5minutes before i decided to write this down. But that doesnt mean il stop believing that there's still some quality things you can talk about online than just getting to know each other and ask about their usual stuff.

This conversation for sure will last for a long time...coz it didnt just began wtih a simple hi...but ended with me teaching him how to speak and understand straight tagalog and him teaching me some weird slang words from their country..hehehe Ü

wiL.08:17

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Pablo Neruda's fave 104

Sonnet XVII



I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda's fave 103

If You Forget Me

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

Pablo Neruda's fave 102

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair



Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Pablo Neruda's fave 101

From – Twenty Poems of Love


I can write the saddest lines tonight.

Write for example: ‘The night is fractured
and they shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance’

The night wind turns in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like these I held her in my arms.
I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes.

I can write the saddest lines tonight.
To think I don’t have her, to feel I have lost her.

Hear the vast night, vaster without her.
Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass.

What does it matter that I couldn’t keep her.
The night is fractured and she is not with me.

That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

As though to reach her, my sight looks for her.
My heart looks for her: she is not with me


The same night whitens, in the same branches.
We, from that time, we are not the same.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her.

Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her.
Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long.

Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,
and these are the last lines I will write for her.

Pablo Neruda

He wants to take his time...




gusto ko na siyang ma-meet...
makilala ng personal...
ayoko ng puro online lang..
puro chat...


mas magiging at ease sana ako kung kahit papaano,
di ko man siya makasama palagi,
at least we had the chance to meet
and exchange long stories in person.
pag online and chat kasi, konti lang ang napaguusapan...
lagi pa siyang may ginagawa.

ayoko naman lagi siyang naiistorbo sa trabaho dahil sakin
kahit ba sabhin niyang okay lang basta ako,
iba pa rin kung mkpagusap kayo ng mas matagal ng personal
mas magging masaya ako ng ganun...

but as the title says,
he wants to take his time...
he wants for us to get to know each other online first
para daw pag nag-meet kami, wala ng ilangan..

ako din naman
im not in a rush
at all

its just that,i really want to know him more
i want to see his actual reactions whenever i crack a joke or something
i want to see how he laugh whenever i give out-of-this-world comments
and i want to see how he is when he's with me
im not rushing anything...am i?

oh Lord...
give me patience...
i read that my patience will all pay-off
sooner or later than i expected...

just promise me u'l guide me
and if in time i'l be fed up,
just make him stay
i dont wna lose him...

john.8:11

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

God, i miss you...


i miss the usual conversation we have
i miss the times i spend with you even though i have to run errands
i miss the way you talk coz u always inspire me and
i miss the way you look at me whenever im telling my story


i miss the day when we first talked
i miss the day when you first took my hand to walk
side by side we journeyed through
the life you gave me upon knowing you


i miss you, i really do
and i hope i get to see you again
i hope you wont just show in my dreams and
do hope you wont forget that someone here on earth really misses you
and wishes for you to come back to ease my longing again for your hand

Saturday, August 9, 2008

What's with 8/8/08?




...im smiling...
...this is a smiling day for me..
...i dunno why...heehee




~oh, a guy in the elevator a while ago called my attention on my way up to work...he said he was my school mate...i asked him from what batch year he was in, he said 2000....i said mine was 2005...he said he also graduated from the same course - MassCommunication...but i dont really recall his face...maybe because he was on a higher batch than i am...unless 2000 was the year he started in college, then we could have been on the same batch...Ü

we were unable to exchange names though...the elevator opened on my stop..*sigh*

he's cute! Ü wish to bump on him again soon...heehee! ~


oOo
oh, one more thing!
my office/teammate just gave birth today 8/8/08 at 8:08PM or AM? (ooohhh..i forgot if its morning or evening...heehee!the healthy baby girl's name is Brihanna Alexi...nice! ~ she underwent caesarian ...if ur wondering how that happened...Ü)

Friday, August 8, 2008

wow..i missed this



its been so long now that i havent written down my thoughts...maybe i was just escaping the world of journalism..or maybe i just got tired of writing...nah...i dont think so Ü

but anyway, one thing's for sure...i cant let go of the thought that i finally met(oh, i havent met him yet..haha)~ lets just say i finally had the chance to know a guy who doesn't like sex...and he meant it.

well, he actually referred to it as he's not the type of guy who will just do the deed for the sake of it but actually make-love...as the clichê goes "he'll do the deed w/ someone who loves him and not just do it for fun coz it'll be just a waste of time"...now, that's new! he really impressed me.

and being the cosmo girl that i am, i just really ddnt believe him right away...i've heard it, been there-done-that-thing yadda-yadda...Ü

he left a thought for me though. why'd he trust me right away? we just knew each other for only 2days,and we havent met. sounds weird right?

hmmm...nevertheless, i liked him. not just because i was impressed of his honesty (that ws a plus though)..but also because he said he felt a connection..hmmm...that's cool...Ü

at the end of the day, all he left on me was a thought of maybe he's the One...

i know its too early to say...i know....alright...come what may then...Ü

john.8:06

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Goodbye Ratatouille



o716o8

ratatouille just came out of nowhere...
it just ran on my feet as soon as i got up from my sister's bed, and it stared at me when i immediately climbed up a chair!

i was so terrified....but i found it sooooo cute!
it's of pure white color and healthy enough to be taken cared of =)

but we need to throw it away...we're afraid it'll multiply... =D

so long ratatouille!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

A great love story of all time!

from an office email


An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world.
It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century.

The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years.

Over 50 years ago, Liu Guojiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year -old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin..

In a twist worthy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.

At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality.

In the beginning, life was harsh as hey had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives.

Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful? Liu always replied, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'

In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother's convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away.

'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?'

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.


In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from China , collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

Letting Go





from an office email
by Anna Rachelle Roxas



To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more...


dennise.07:06

Thursday, July 3, 2008

i have to be positive

...but sometimes being positive doesn't guarantee a good and exact result..it may just leave u wanting something so bad to really turn out right the way you want it to be...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

New team =)

im with carla's team now...
and im with the group for STS...
arrrggghhhh..
it will be more on the rest of the agents on avail, and us will be on queue for the offers...
it will be a different amount of workload now...but thats okay...im hanging on..hehe


looking forward for the new experience..new batch of people to deal with..and new challenges to face w/ the team..heehee...so exciting! :D

Friday, June 27, 2008

27 days and counting!












27 days to go before Herbalife Extravaganza happens in Bangkok,Thailand!!!

i am sooooooooooo excited coz this will be my very first ever international travel!

we'll be trained for 3days by the top supervisors and earners of Herbalife, and then we'll just loiter around Bangkok for the rest of the days left! hehehe [3-days training, 2-days pasyal] Ü

isn't that exciting?!

first, i need to get a passport though...wahahahahah!!! :D

Thursday, June 26, 2008

A Teacher's Lesson

There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer - the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

What a surprise!

he finally remembered me...

after 3weeks of no communication, meet up and excuses, he finally texted me!

ayos na daw kasi phone niya...finally [sigh]

i'm almost in the verge of giving up u know...kasi parang walang nangyayari at pinatutunguhan relationship namin... i havent heard from him for weeks...=(

but then again, there ws a sudden rush of hope when i unexpectedly rcvd a msg from him just this night..

tell me,should i believe now that this will be a start of a good thing?

...i just wish the "wait" is worth waiting for...


dennise.06:24

Thursday, June 19, 2008

i need sum sleeeeeeeep!

its very difficult to go through the day if ur feeling so sleepy...

imagine...i got home from my training with Herbalife by 2:30pm...ate my lunch till 3:00pm...then logged online to check my invite responses...

and literally speaking, i havent had some sleep from 9:00am...went straight to work by 6:00pm, without eating dinner and felt myself so dizzy and hungry in the jeep. :p

i know it will all pay-off...im still left feeling okay, as long as i know my prayers are slowly answered...

my guests are showing up now, realizing the opportunities laid before them..im getting more confident about my business that i'll be able to reach the top...

and i know all it takes is hard work...very,very, hard work :p

"So help me God..."

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Driver ka ba talaga???

grrr!!!!

i was forced to ride a cab a while ago to avoid being late. it was then that i only realized that the more u cram/have a bad start of the day,mas sunod2x un kamalasan mo...hayyy...

eniwei, the driver let me in and let me tell him where i'm going..little did i know na di niya alam papuntang ayala mula marikina at naliligaw na nga raw siya...at sinabi lang naman niya un nung nkasakay nako at nangangalahati na kami ng marikina!!!badtrip diba?

as much as i would like to go down and switch cabs, nanghihinayang ako sa metro na babayaran ko sa knya.mejo malaki2x na rin un...tska hassle kung bababa pako...kaya i had no choice but to give him the directions.

nakakainis pa nun, pag wala akong sinabing direction, tanong siya ng tanong kung liliko ba o hindi...di ba niya maintindihan na hanggat wala akong sinasabi,diretso lang?! argggghhhh!!!

the cab's running fast enough though so i'm confident that i'll still be on time. problem was, di ko na napansin nung nsa buting na kami, sa sobra niyang bilis, dumere-deretso kami ng The Fort!huwwaaaahhhhh!!

okay na sana e, bumanat pa ung driver, "tsk! di mo naman kasi sinabi eh! di ko pa man din kabisado banda rito. tsk!"(yadda...yadda..yadda...ang dami niyang side comments!!! sarap basagin ng mukha!!!grrr!!)

hahaha...sobrang inis ko, sabi ko lang "driver ka ba talaga? ngayon ka lang ba nagdrive?!parang wala kang alam na lugar na puntahan..."

nakuuuuu!!!nanggigigil na talaga ako!!waaahhh!!! haha


hayyy..we finally got to ayala... sabi ko ibaba na niya ako sa tapat ng Philamlife...bumanat nanaman ang lolo mo, "pakidagdagan lang, lugi eh..ang layo pala ng pupuntahan mo.kung alam ko lang, di na kita sinakay kanina."

nagpinting nnaman tenga ko...binayaran ko sakto ng metro (ay, may sobra palang tatlong piso.ako pa nagbigay ng tip sa kundoktor sa mrkina eh), bago bumaba sinabi ko "kung di mo kasi alam, huwag ka magsakay!" tas balibag ng pinto.hahaha


- THE END -

Sunday, June 15, 2008

A Gift of Love

An Inspirational Love Story

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.

It had been a year since Susan, 34, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. And all she had to cling to was her husband, Mark.

Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again.

Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan, and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task.

Soon, however, Mark realized the arrangement wasn't working. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But she was still so fragile, so angry - how would she react? Just as he predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again.

"I'm blind!", she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you're abandoning me."

Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day.

He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat.

Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus-riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, And his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself.

On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying the fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure do envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?"

The driver responded, "It must feel good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and again asked, "What do you mean?"


The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine-looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches until you enter your office building.

Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady." Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness.

The Soldier

An Inspirational Love Story


John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind.

In front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II

During the next year and one-month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A Romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.

When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 pm at Grand Central Station in New York.

"You'll recognize me, " she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen.

I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened: A young women was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A women well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the women whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own

And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.

I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the women, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"


The women's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"

It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in it's response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."

Are You Moving Way Too Fast In Your Relationship?

Yahoo article 104
By Lisa Angelettie, GirlShrink


When I was 16 years old, I was in deep like with a guy I was dating. He was purely the anti-boyfriend of my parents' choosing. He drove a black car with a souped up engine. He smoked cigarettes. He had horrible manners. He would beep the horn for me when he came to pick me up. It drove my mother crazy. I mean really looking back - he had no respect.


But that's not why I'll remember him. What I'll remember is that I went to an amusement park one weekend and bought a keychain that had both our names with a heart in between them. I thought it was cute and I thought he'd get a little chuckle out of it. Uh - not! He read me the riot act about how I pressure guys (how he heard about me) and that I was simply too pushy and that he didn't think this whole thing was going to work out. All this on my front doorstep. Needless to say, I was devastated. I hadn't known this about myself whether it was his truth or the truth. I carried it with me up until the point I realized that I was in a fully reciprocal relationship (my wedding day!).
What's the moral of this story? Well, it was kind of pushy for me to buy a keychain with our names when he wasn't my boyfriend and he didn't buy it with me or for me. I was forcing the issue. So take this teenage lesson and apply it to your lives now - never force the issue. It only makes you look desperate or clueless.

Tips That You're Moving Too Fast

1. You call him before you give him a chance to return the FIRST call

2. You are thinking about what your children will look like

3. You are leaving things in his house "by accident" like a toothbrush, underwear, etc.

4. You quiz him about his incoming calls--everyday!

5. You WANT to quiz him about his incoming phone calls

6. You want to meet his mother and ask her stuff about his childhood

7. You aren't interested in meeting anyone else and have been dating for a month

When He Doesn't Want To Commit

yahoo article 103

In today's modern age, men and women are in pursuit of making money more than ever. Adults are taking longer to build satisfying careers, purchase homes, and start families. Putting off long term commitments.

Unfortunately, one thing that has yet to evolve with this new age - is a woman's biological make-up. Our eggs grow older with each passing year. So do we have a right to be concerned when our boyfriends are not ready to commit to happily ever after?

Although it seems in Hollywood, that getting married is the new "dating", it's not that way in the real world. Perhaps it is a matter of economics, or maybe that's an easy excuse to use when they are just afraid of commitment.

According to one source, "Most men like want to achieve some sort of career success before they commit to marriage. How are you going to take care of a family if you can't even take care of yourself. Even if the wife works, being able to financially take care of them with or without their income is very important to most men I know."

He has a point. but what about the women who are ready to jump in the trenches with their men? What about building a life together - struggle and all. Does everyone have to be on rock solid footing before marriage?

Well, it wouldn't hurt as financial issues are the #1 problem in marriages today.


Things to consider...
How old the two of you are
do you both want the same or similar things out of life
How well do you know each other
Do you both have jobs/careers
Do you have children in or outside of the relationship
Are you happy in the relationship


Things to avoid...

Pressuring someone to commit
Believeing that is your fault if he won't commit
Obsessing about making a commitment
Waiting too long to make a decision about the relationship


Things To Do...

Ask for what you want
Ask him to be honest about his fears of commitment
Re-evaluate the progress of your relationship periodically
cut your losses if this hill seems to insurmountable to climb

Saturday, June 14, 2008

He's Just Not That Into You...Really!

yahoo article 102

There was a publishing phenomenon that occurred when authors Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo wrote the relationship/dating book - He's Just Not That Into You. Women were reading it like they had no idea. No clue.
[i still find it hard to get this into my line of thinking...tsk3x...haha]


Hey, I skimmed it in between feeding the kids and an episode of Desperate Housewives - but it all sounds like stuff we've heard before. I mean-- really. Isn't it all common sense?
Do we as women not really know when a man doesn't call us after a date that the guy just wasn't that interested. I think we do. It seems as if we really want to know why? Why isn't he interested. Was it something I said or did? Was it something I was wearing? Is it what I do for a living? Is it because I slept with him too fast or not at all? What is it! We just want to know. If not to fix it with you, then to be prepared for the next man.

If we all weren't so insecure about who we are and the position we play in this world - we wouldn't second guess every move we make. I mean I'm all about trying to improve oneself. Recognizing mistakes. Correcting them. But basically, you are who you are. If the man you just had dinner with wasn't interested enough to come back for more -- then GirlShrink says (respectfully:) PEACE!

Sometimes I think that our parents may have overdid things. They were so focused on boosting our self confidence and self-esteem that we believe that there must be a complicated explanation as to why someone wouldn't be interested in us. I mean you - not interested in me? Huh?

And then of course as I mentioned earlier there are those of us that swear that there are a million things wrong with us and we just want to know which one turned off this man that we were really interested in. We want to know what's wrong with us.

But really...no matter what our background or baggage we bring to the table - it's a concept that we probably need to start teaching our children. Everyone is not going to love you. Everyone is not going to like you. And that's okay.

Do you hear me ladies? That is okay. 5 things to remember...

1. Don't change a thing. You know that you are just fine the way you are.

2. Go out tonight. Get right back on that horse again and be open to meeting more men.

3. Don't hide in the land of DENIAL. Be honest with yourself and move on.

4. Ask for what your worth. Don't settle for someone clearly sending you signals of indifference.

5. Use your common sense. You don't need a book to tell you what your instincts already have!


oOo
i'm learning, i'm learning, i'm learning! Ü
john.08:23

Kissing Tips - Make a Kiss More Passionate.

yahoo article 101
By Todd Peterson


Kissing is something that most couples do. Kissing well and with passion, however, is far less common. All too often, people fall into boring ruts and monotonous techniques that make kissing an undesirable prelude of more exciting activities to come. This is especially true for couples who have been together for awhile. To keep kissing fun or to rekindle the flame that was once there, observe the guidelines below.

1) What you do right before a kiss will set the mood. Gaze into their eyes and pay your sweetie a romantic compliment.

2) Hold your partner firmly, but gently in your arms. Put one arm around their back and put the other around the base of their head.

3) Occasionally, put both of your hands on your partner's cheeks to intensify the moment.

4) Kiss other places than the mouth. Add variety and intimacy by breaking away to kiss the cheek, forehead, neck, or anywhere else you feel is appropriate.

5) While maintaining a slow rhythm is essential to establishing intimacy, occasional bursts of intensified and quick movements (with tongue and hands) lasting several seconds will increase the passion.

6) Break the lip lock every few minutes to make a compliment about your partner's kissing ability, passion, or how sexy they are.

7) Location will determine the intimacy of the moment. Don Juan, himself, would have trouble creating a sensual moment in a busy school hallway with people walking by. Isolated areas are the best place to unleash your passion.

8) Use your hands to freely caress your partner's body. You can caress the hair, stroke their back, etc.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Why...im not...how...maybe

just why in the world can't i say what i wanted to say when ur in front of me?

why cant i tell you that im not used to be treated like you do?
why cant i tell you that i feel unloved whenever im not hearing from you?
why cant i tell you that i need to feel your presence even once a day?
why cant i tell you that im not requesting for you to report to me every hour/every minute of your whereabouts...just a simple "hi" will do.. at least i know i crossed your mind for the day...

im not asking you to give all your time for me coz i wont do the same
im not asking you to choose me above your family coz of course i wont do the same
but at least let them know im your girl...

im not asking anything more than your consistency

how you made your way to win me back
how you did everything to give the relationship another chance
how you made me believe that we'll have a brand new start
and how you made me believe that i can still give u a slot in my heart

maybe im trying to still give you a chance
maybe im trying to blind my eyes of the reality that things can still change
maybe im trying to hide the mask of disappointment
or maybe you're just too busy to see my point.

tell me, is this real love then?


dennise.06:12

The Last Time

song 102



Eric Benet

The first time I fell in love was long ago.
I didn't know how to give my love at all.
The next time I settled for what felt so close.
But without romance, you're never gonna fall.
After everything I've learned;
Now it's finally my turn.
This is the last time I'll fall... in love.

The first time we walked under that starry sky,
there was a moment when everything was clear.
I didn't need to ask or even wonder why,
because each question is answered when your near.
and I'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds,
this is the last time i'll fall in love.

Now don't hold back, just let me know.
Could i be moving much too fast or way too slow.
'Cause all of my life, I've waited for this day.
To find that once in a lifetime, this is it, I'll never be the same.
You'll never know what it's taken me to say these words.
And now that I've said them, they could never be enough.

As far as I can see, there's only you and only me.
This is the last time I'll fall in love.
Last time i'll fall in love.
The last time i'll fall... in love.

I held her on my arms =)


...for the first time, i held a small creature on my arms

...my half-sister who i still can't imagine how she existed on this world

...my half-sister who i'm still wondering why my heart cant skip a beat by the vision of her

oOo

...but when i heard she's crying so hard and cant sleep, i lifted her up, hummed a lullabye and much to my surprise? she fell asleep! Ü


oOo

...that was a good start though. i haven't seen her smile yet,but at least i know she can feel me ÜÜÜ

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I WANNA BE LOVED

song 101


Eric Benet

Love once left me cold and gray
I had almost reached heaven
Just to feel it slip away
But life's too short to waste away
Being scared to take chances
Or so I've heard wise men say

I wanna be loved
Faithful and true
I wanna be loved
Ten million lifetimes with you
I wanna be loved
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take it's chances, just to be loved by you

Taste, touch, hear, see, feel me now girl
And you'll know I'm so ready
To exchange lifelong vows, yes I am
'Cause now you've shown me how God has smiled
On this chance and this moment
For this I've prayed all my life

I wanna be loved
Faithful and true
I wanna be loved
Ten million lifetimes with you girl
I wanna be loved
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take its chances, just to be loved by you

I wanna feel there's a reason for living again
I want us to fly far away
And I want my heart to sing the words only you can understand
So put your hand in mine, say a prayer tonight
So that we may find love

I wanna be loved
I want to be faithful and true
I wanna be loved
Ten million lifetimes with you baby
I wanna be loved
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take its chances, just to be loved by you

I want to be loved
Faithful and true
I want to be loved
Ten billion lifetimes, ten zillion, ten trillion lifetimes baby
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take a chance just to be loved by you
I'll let my heart take a chance just to be loved by you

Monday, June 9, 2008

New angel...


.o6o8o8.
.5:oo am.

i just had a new baby sister!!!

yifee!!!

oh well, its not obvious at home though that i am this happy for having a new sister...maybe because i still hv this feeling of... i dunno,loneliness maybe...

she's actually my half-sister...my dad had an affair with this woman who ws once our helper.i was actually ashamed of it at first,but when i found out that she's carrying a child out of my father, then i just sighed...i cant do anything abt it anymore...the child is now a "briones".

and the good thing about it?

its near Father's Day...i know my dad is really happy and blessed with a new angel...

and that's all that matters now Ü

Saturday, June 7, 2008

i like this

Daily Bible Verse
Friday, June 06, 2008
Provided by Christ Notes

"The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. "

1 John 2:17 (New International Version)

~ thanks my dear Rajsh ~

Thursday, June 5, 2008

What a call...

just got out of a 33-minute call from an old customer....

on the onset of the call, we're talking good..everything's fine til he explained what he wants to do on his account (which is way,way impossible)...

well, at least the call was not escalated and ended up w/ him apologizing for sounding rude to me...he even wished that my next caller will be nicer than him.

that's a good start to move on Ü

How can i fall???!!

./' ...when u just dont give me reasons...at all... ./'

~this song finally hit me~

so many excuses, so many explanations, so many ways to let me feel unloved...i thought by giving u a second chance in my heart, you'll change...i thought love is happier the second time around...i was wrong...completely wrong

i wanna let you go...i want to end this...i dont deserve this kind of treatment

wish i could tell you now how i feel...

...but i know u still hv another excuse not to meet me up...coz ur sick....

yadda...yadda..yadda....

First day high



Oh God... my shift started with an unexpected card from our "big boss" saying:





"Janellyn,

Alex Krantz mentioned you in our staff meeting about a complimentary letter we received from a customer you helped.

Great job and Thanks for all you do -

Kim"



oOo
I usually receive compliments from borrowers, email blasted by my supervisor to the entire site. And i admit this was the very first time i had appreciated the company's effort in showing us we deserve to be treated well despite of the long calls and irate customers we have in a day...because for the very first time since i started taking calls, they made an effort to cut a simple card for my service.

The great thing about the card though? it was hand-written by our boss w/c made the compliment more enticing for me!




**this is my very first blog....and my very first light-hearted day since i joined Chase Ü **

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