This is a follow up of my blog entitled: When a Rocker meets a Thespian
I guess the title says it all. Of course who wont agree that sex or having sex in that matter should always feel good? That's not until you'll find out that the person you're doing the deed with uses drugs to get him going. Bullshit diba?
You start with a very good conversation, try to appease each other's minds and make bola to each other's egos, just to get the move going. When the moment you start thinking everything will be alright, you'll realize there really is something wrong.
Rockers (those who do really hard rock - i hope not all) would tend to be engaged with this habit of taking drugs just to keep their adrenaline high and make their confidence on stage so high that they could win their audience applause. But i didn't realize that I was already on a situation wherein drugs will be a means to having great pleasure in bed, until my own adrenaline rush pushed me to make him stop and let him go. If not for that, I could already be either raped or killed by this person whom I thought is different out of the tons of guys I met.
Guys, its simple. We will love and accept you for who you are, no matter how crazy or crappy your past life was. Believe me. Just DON'T EVER THINK we are going to deal with you if you engage with drugs.
Either accept that truth, or just go ahead and move on searching for a good-girl-that-might-go-bad-and-be-high with you until you die. Enough said.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
25 of Jha's Confessions before she turns 25 Ü
I was really surprised that one of my dearest friends, Norman, who will also celebrate his 25th year this month first posted his "25 Things" in his multiply site before I do. Ü Not that I am mad at him or anything. In fact, natuwa akong malaman na it was not just me who thought of posting some kind of 'personal' information before we hit 25. So since nauna siya, I decided to spice up a little bit of what's on my list. I made this some kind of a Confession List. hehe..
Though you may also be surprised to find out some things we have in common, I know I wont be as good as a writer like him. But I still do hope u enjoy reading. Ü
1. I didn't have a very nice childhood. I was born with a pair of "squint-eye" (in Tagalog, "banlag"). So years before i had my very first eye operation in summer of 1995, I have to deal with kids calling me 'duling', and years of having no one to befriend with - but my shadow and my guardian angel. Ü
2. Despite my disability (err, i dunno if i can call that disability kasi sobrang linaw daw ng mga mata ko nun sabi ng mga doctors i had my checkup with. klangan lang daw maiayos sa dapat kalagyan ang mga mata ko so I wont appear that way to the public), I still managed to be on top of my class and even achieved the Best Actress Award when I started joining the Dramatic Club when I was in Grade 2. Ü This is when I started practicing my passion in Stage Acting. Ü
3. I was a really pasaway kid back then. Kasagsagan ng cartoons na "Pollyana",
so on the last day of my operation week, after sacrificing not to scratch my eyes because of the stitches for days, I had the guts to ask my loving doctor if I can alrdy take off the bandage around my eyes so i can watch Pollyana, promising him that I will not touch it. He agreed. Yey! (But because of that, my supposed to be 2nd eye operation session did not push through coz I demanded to go home and watch there, not in the hospital. Yan tuloy, di sobrang naayos mata ko.haha. Most people still asks me now why one of my eyes is smaller than the other. Kasi nga ganun nangyari...I just cant tell them the whole story...hehehe)
4. I became the class president when I was in Grade 5. But believe me, it was not that easy and fun as i had imagined it to be. Because even if my eyes were alrdy okay after the operation, my classmates then were still fond of calling me the word mentioned earlier, and to add up to my sadness then, they even made a story that I was sipsip to all our teachers that's why they voted me as the class president so I would be the 'utusan'. I even had an encounter with a piece of paper thrown at me with a drawing of my eye on a red pen while i was erasing the board. :(
5. Being on an all-girls' school from elementary to highschool has always been tough for me. Competition was always there. So it was very hard for me to pursue my dreams in acting like how i started in my younger yrs, even audition for the ComArts club in highschool was very tough. So i just ended up joining the Library Club on my first 2yrs in highschool (yeah, boring...but thats when i started to learn how to organize things in chronological order.hahahah) and The Girl's Scout on my last 2years.
6. Because I ddnt enjoy my elementary and highschool years, I made the decision to apply on a Coed University so i no longer will experience being torned between what i want and who I wanted to be.
7. I was really hoping and praying that I'll pass UPCAT so i can pursue Stage Acting with well-respected professors in UP. They just dont round off average grades. They need to see an 85 even on your report card. I happen to have 84.99 average, so I ddnt make it. argghhh...but heck! My ever supportive dad enrolled me to UP's Summer Acting Workshop in 2001
and I still ended up working with and being taught by well-respected professors and directors Mr. Tony Mabesa (TV/Stage Actor-Professor) and Mr. Ojie Juliano. Ü I had the most unforgettable theater experience so far back then Ü
8. I focused on studying hard (yeah i did :p) during the first semester in college (first sem lang..haha) which lead me unexpectedly to join class debates with a team I barely knew at first, but they now end up to be an inspiration for me. I ddnt join any organizations back then coz I was really driven to be one of the members of The FEU Theater Guild. So I did everything to know and learn how i could make it to the cut. I watched their shows, i watched how they do auditions for new members, and of course compose my audition piece :) I became a neophyte for FEU Theater Guild on my 2nd year in college.
Believe me, i didn't miss a single opportunity that come my way when I was with that group. Ü 
9. I had my very first guy friend when I was in college. He eventually became a boyfriend w/c my and his family approved of despite our age and distance :)
10. I had all my firsts with that guy when I was 16... or was I 17 then? I cant remember. haha. patay Ü
11. Since I had all my firsts with him, I also had my first heartbreak and a ton of infidelity issues with him. Sa guy na un talaga ako natuto honestly. Thanks to you. Ü
12. I had my very first yahoo account and profile setup in the year of 2001. And since then, I had been so addicted to online things. Ü
13. My first online meetup with a total stranger was a disaster. I agreed for him to take me home in Antipolo (our house then) after my and his enrollment that day in UST. I ended up losing 500 pesos when I woke up the following day. My brothers and sister were the witnesses. Good thing he didnt kill me when I refused to have sex with him the night before. Crazy bastard. Days after that incident, i found out that guy was a cousin of one of my blockmates in college. Small world!
14. That scenario didn't shake the hell out of me. I dunno why. I still agreed to meet people whom I befriend with online. And up to this day, Im not sure how many guys I already have met. Such a blessing that no matter how different each guy that I met was, I still come out alive and thankful for meeting them. They taught me a lot and they added different colors to my world Ü
15. If u would notice, I'd rather meet guys online, and know them deeper when we finally meet in person, than meet guys from bars/discos/parties. That's because I dont like going to those types of places. Not that i havent been to bars/discos/parties or anything. I just dont see the point why you will spend so much money going there, dress up to impress, dance like crazy and buy drinks just to hook up and look for some eligible bachelors inside :) no offense meant to party goers. I just dont like giving too much pressure and effort to myself to be prepped up for just one night of partying Ü
16. I dont believe in courtship. I mean, though sometimes i crave for the traditional type of getting a girl's 'yes' by giving them flowers and stuff (that's considering the guy's effort for me). But I just dont buy the aspect of courtship in such a way that girls will get the attention/things they want for a span of time, and guys giving and showing their best foot forward in those days/months of courtship, then suddenly be shocked that either the girl dont like them in the end, or the guy will just get tired of giving her attention, leaving the girl wondering what she did wrong. Ü If two persons feel the same way, go take the risk. No matter how short or long the time u spent with each other had passed, if u feel something, then go for it. Just say it. If u dont, then let go. Stop wasting each other's time and money :)
17. I love the outdoors. Id rather spend the whole day or night with someone, outside the metro and enjoy each other's company, than spend the whole day w/ someone who cant think of anything more exciting than watch a movie and sleep together afterwards Ü
18. I have many friends, but only few really knows who I truly am. And i love those people who dont judge me even if they know I'm already doing things that's not right. They let me learn from my mistakes on my own.
19. I dont like spices.
Even the slightest spice on any food can make me red all over from my face to my neck. So please....spare the sili...arggghhh..hehe
20. I am a lover of White Chocolates. not just chocolates w/c has anything written "Chocolate milk" or "milk chocolate" on it...i want the real WHITE chocolates! Ü
21. Lamigin ako...sobra...I even have my own kumot, and foot socks in the office...ung makakapal...my office friends are a witness to that..hehe...soon il have my own gloves and bonet maybe..hahaha...its just freakin' cold there!
22. I can stay for more than 12hrs in front of a PC. That's because i have numerous emails, websites and online accounts that I need to check intensely and watch out for. I have been hacked so many times na rin..kaya ko binabantayan mga sites ko..hehe
23. I miss the old school Love Letters. I still keep kasi mga lumang sulat from diffrent people from years back..i just feel so important and immortal pag nakikita ko ung mga un..hehe..I treasure them..kaya lang nakakatamad ang magpunta sa post office to mail a response, so maybe id rather reply using other means...hahaha...unfair Ü
24. Most of my friends get advise from me about sex/love/relationships. I dunno why. Ü
25. This is the first time I broadcasted some of my deepest secrets to the entire world. Ü
Though you may also be surprised to find out some things we have in common, I know I wont be as good as a writer like him. But I still do hope u enjoy reading. Ü
1. I didn't have a very nice childhood. I was born with a pair of "squint-eye" (in Tagalog, "banlag"). So years before i had my very first eye operation in summer of 1995, I have to deal with kids calling me 'duling', and years of having no one to befriend with - but my shadow and my guardian angel. Ü
2. Despite my disability (err, i dunno if i can call that disability kasi sobrang linaw daw ng mga mata ko nun sabi ng mga doctors i had my checkup with. klangan lang daw maiayos sa dapat kalagyan ang mga mata ko so I wont appear that way to the public), I still managed to be on top of my class and even achieved the Best Actress Award when I started joining the Dramatic Club when I was in Grade 2. Ü This is when I started practicing my passion in Stage Acting. Ü
3. I was a really pasaway kid back then. Kasagsagan ng cartoons na "Pollyana",
so on the last day of my operation week, after sacrificing not to scratch my eyes because of the stitches for days, I had the guts to ask my loving doctor if I can alrdy take off the bandage around my eyes so i can watch Pollyana, promising him that I will not touch it. He agreed. Yey! (But because of that, my supposed to be 2nd eye operation session did not push through coz I demanded to go home and watch there, not in the hospital. Yan tuloy, di sobrang naayos mata ko.haha. Most people still asks me now why one of my eyes is smaller than the other. Kasi nga ganun nangyari...I just cant tell them the whole story...hehehe)4. I became the class president when I was in Grade 5. But believe me, it was not that easy and fun as i had imagined it to be. Because even if my eyes were alrdy okay after the operation, my classmates then were still fond of calling me the word mentioned earlier, and to add up to my sadness then, they even made a story that I was sipsip to all our teachers that's why they voted me as the class president so I would be the 'utusan'. I even had an encounter with a piece of paper thrown at me with a drawing of my eye on a red pen while i was erasing the board. :(
5. Being on an all-girls' school from elementary to highschool has always been tough for me. Competition was always there. So it was very hard for me to pursue my dreams in acting like how i started in my younger yrs, even audition for the ComArts club in highschool was very tough. So i just ended up joining the Library Club on my first 2yrs in highschool (yeah, boring...but thats when i started to learn how to organize things in chronological order.hahahah) and The Girl's Scout on my last 2years.
6. Because I ddnt enjoy my elementary and highschool years, I made the decision to apply on a Coed University so i no longer will experience being torned between what i want and who I wanted to be.
7. I was really hoping and praying that I'll pass UPCAT so i can pursue Stage Acting with well-respected professors in UP. They just dont round off average grades. They need to see an 85 even on your report card. I happen to have 84.99 average, so I ddnt make it. argghhh...but heck! My ever supportive dad enrolled me to UP's Summer Acting Workshop in 2001
and I still ended up working with and being taught by well-respected professors and directors Mr. Tony Mabesa (TV/Stage Actor-Professor) and Mr. Ojie Juliano. Ü I had the most unforgettable theater experience so far back then Ü8. I focused on studying hard (yeah i did :p) during the first semester in college (first sem lang..haha) which lead me unexpectedly to join class debates with a team I barely knew at first, but they now end up to be an inspiration for me. I ddnt join any organizations back then coz I was really driven to be one of the members of The FEU Theater Guild. So I did everything to know and learn how i could make it to the cut. I watched their shows, i watched how they do auditions for new members, and of course compose my audition piece :) I became a neophyte for FEU Theater Guild on my 2nd year in college.
Believe me, i didn't miss a single opportunity that come my way when I was with that group. Ü 
9. I had my very first guy friend when I was in college. He eventually became a boyfriend w/c my and his family approved of despite our age and distance :)
10. I had all my firsts with that guy when I was 16... or was I 17 then? I cant remember. haha. patay Ü
11. Since I had all my firsts with him, I also had my first heartbreak and a ton of infidelity issues with him. Sa guy na un talaga ako natuto honestly. Thanks to you. Ü
12. I had my very first yahoo account and profile setup in the year of 2001. And since then, I had been so addicted to online things. Ü
13. My first online meetup with a total stranger was a disaster. I agreed for him to take me home in Antipolo (our house then) after my and his enrollment that day in UST. I ended up losing 500 pesos when I woke up the following day. My brothers and sister were the witnesses. Good thing he didnt kill me when I refused to have sex with him the night before. Crazy bastard. Days after that incident, i found out that guy was a cousin of one of my blockmates in college. Small world!
14. That scenario didn't shake the hell out of me. I dunno why. I still agreed to meet people whom I befriend with online. And up to this day, Im not sure how many guys I already have met. Such a blessing that no matter how different each guy that I met was, I still come out alive and thankful for meeting them. They taught me a lot and they added different colors to my world Ü
15. If u would notice, I'd rather meet guys online, and know them deeper when we finally meet in person, than meet guys from bars/discos/parties. That's because I dont like going to those types of places. Not that i havent been to bars/discos/parties or anything. I just dont see the point why you will spend so much money going there, dress up to impress, dance like crazy and buy drinks just to hook up and look for some eligible bachelors inside :) no offense meant to party goers. I just dont like giving too much pressure and effort to myself to be prepped up for just one night of partying Ü
16. I dont believe in courtship. I mean, though sometimes i crave for the traditional type of getting a girl's 'yes' by giving them flowers and stuff (that's considering the guy's effort for me). But I just dont buy the aspect of courtship in such a way that girls will get the attention/things they want for a span of time, and guys giving and showing their best foot forward in those days/months of courtship, then suddenly be shocked that either the girl dont like them in the end, or the guy will just get tired of giving her attention, leaving the girl wondering what she did wrong. Ü If two persons feel the same way, go take the risk. No matter how short or long the time u spent with each other had passed, if u feel something, then go for it. Just say it. If u dont, then let go. Stop wasting each other's time and money :)
17. I love the outdoors. Id rather spend the whole day or night with someone, outside the metro and enjoy each other's company, than spend the whole day w/ someone who cant think of anything more exciting than watch a movie and sleep together afterwards Ü
18. I have many friends, but only few really knows who I truly am. And i love those people who dont judge me even if they know I'm already doing things that's not right. They let me learn from my mistakes on my own.
19. I dont like spices.
Even the slightest spice on any food can make me red all over from my face to my neck. So please....spare the sili...arggghhh..hehe20. I am a lover of White Chocolates. not just chocolates w/c has anything written "Chocolate milk" or "milk chocolate" on it...i want the real WHITE chocolates! Ü
21. Lamigin ako...sobra...I even have my own kumot, and foot socks in the office...ung makakapal...my office friends are a witness to that..hehe...soon il have my own gloves and bonet maybe..hahaha...its just freakin' cold there!
22. I can stay for more than 12hrs in front of a PC. That's because i have numerous emails, websites and online accounts that I need to check intensely and watch out for. I have been hacked so many times na rin..kaya ko binabantayan mga sites ko..hehe
23. I miss the old school Love Letters. I still keep kasi mga lumang sulat from diffrent people from years back..i just feel so important and immortal pag nakikita ko ung mga un..hehe..I treasure them..kaya lang nakakatamad ang magpunta sa post office to mail a response, so maybe id rather reply using other means...hahaha...unfair Ü
24. Most of my friends get advise from me about sex/love/relationships. I dunno why. Ü
25. This is the first time I broadcasted some of my deepest secrets to the entire world. Ü
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
44 ThinGs A GIRL would die for... indeed! [old post]
~45th is my contribution..hehe~
1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly
are you remembering this?
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're
with your friends
keep reading
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. fight
back and hug her tight so she cant get
to her friends. it makes
her feel loved
Are you thinking about someone?
16-ALWAYS HUG HER AND SAY "I LOVE YOU"
WHEN YOU SEE HER.
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful... not sexy!
20-TELL HER THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT HER!
oh, and on that last one... u need to
show her you mean it too
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you
buy HER stuff
23-tell her what feels good
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can
still help
we might deny it but we actually like
and kinda want you to get
us things
26-DONT LIE TO HER
27-DONT CHEAT ON HER
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt message or call her in the
morning and tell her have a
good day at school/work, and how much you
miss her
30-be there for her when ever she
needs you, & even when she
doesn't need you, just be there so
she'll know that she can
always count on you
are you still reading this? u better
be, its important
31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close
and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will
give her the hint that you
want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm
around her and then she
will automatically put her head on
your shoulder, then lean in
and tilt her chin up and kiss her
lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're
mad. If shes upset, comfort her
remember this next time you are with
her
36. When people diss her, stand up for
her.
37. LOOK DEEP INTO HER EYES AND TELL
HER THAT YOU LOVE HER
38. Lay down under the stars and put
her head on your chest so
she can listen to the steady beat of
your heart, Link your
fingers together while you whisper to
her as she rests her eyes
and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your
arms as long as possible
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED
41. Call her at night to wish her
sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and
wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. ALWAYS REMIND HER HOW MUCH YOU
LOVE HER
45. BE CONSISTENT please Ü
When a Rocker meets a Thespian [old post]
~ January 2, 2009 blog ~
I wonder how a rocker, with their hard facade and image happens to know how a thespian feels and kind of need at the moment...It was a surprise knowing that not all rockers are that difficult to deal with. In fact, it was surprising enough to know that a rocker could still have the courage to be a self-proclaimed hopeless-romantic type of guy and that he easily falls in love.
Hmm...really sounds confusing, but one thing i cant help but notice was the ounce of sensitivity he has and how a good conversation could come up unnoticed. Also, how that particular guy could manage to be so deep in his own words and thinking, that a great start i know wont come to an abrupt end. Ü
When a Rocker meets a Thespian, you wouldn't have a problem dealing with "dead airs".
But i would still keep my fingers cross...a Thespian's mind could be bothered after a few days if a rocker wont keep up to what he started.....
I wonder how a rocker, with their hard facade and image happens to know how a thespian feels and kind of need at the moment...It was a surprise knowing that not all rockers are that difficult to deal with. In fact, it was surprising enough to know that a rocker could still have the courage to be a self-proclaimed hopeless-romantic type of guy and that he easily falls in love.
Hmm...really sounds confusing, but one thing i cant help but notice was the ounce of sensitivity he has and how a good conversation could come up unnoticed. Also, how that particular guy could manage to be so deep in his own words and thinking, that a great start i know wont come to an abrupt end. Ü
When a Rocker meets a Thespian, you wouldn't have a problem dealing with "dead airs".
But i would still keep my fingers cross...a Thespian's mind could be bothered after a few days if a rocker wont keep up to what he started.....
Or so I thought... :(
~ a response to my previous blog August 28,2008 ~
The longer i thought my wait is over, the faster our relationship ended...
Three months in a row of not seeing each other is such a very obvious sign of a bad relationship, right?
Good if it's a long distance love affair...but heck its not...
I still cant see the point why the word "Busy" could be such a great tool in destroying a just-started relationship. I still cant see the point why he couldn't find time for me. Dati naman nagagawa niya.
Its just so crazy because it has been what...more than a month now but i still cant get over what he did...Three months of not seeing each other, then all of a sudden, i found my name off his friend's list. He took me off.
Dapat nga natauhan nako sa ginawa niyang un eh...that was a clear sign that he no longer loves me and care for me. But here i am, still hoping he'll have the guts to call or text or leave me an offline message just to let me know what happened to us...and why he did that.
Mistakes have been made. I wont deny na may mali din akong ginawa. But damn! When will he realize the reason why i demanded time for him was because girlfriend niya ako? When will he realize that the reason why I wanted to see him was because i love him and i want to take care of him kahit sandali lang?
I dunno why im still holding on...until now...damn it... :( i hate feeling like this...
The longer i thought my wait is over, the faster our relationship ended...
Three months in a row of not seeing each other is such a very obvious sign of a bad relationship, right?
Good if it's a long distance love affair...but heck its not...
I still cant see the point why the word "Busy" could be such a great tool in destroying a just-started relationship. I still cant see the point why he couldn't find time for me. Dati naman nagagawa niya.
Its just so crazy because it has been what...more than a month now but i still cant get over what he did...Three months of not seeing each other, then all of a sudden, i found my name off his friend's list. He took me off.
Dapat nga natauhan nako sa ginawa niyang un eh...that was a clear sign that he no longer loves me and care for me. But here i am, still hoping he'll have the guts to call or text or leave me an offline message just to let me know what happened to us...and why he did that.
Mistakes have been made. I wont deny na may mali din akong ginawa. But damn! When will he realize the reason why i demanded time for him was because girlfriend niya ako? When will he realize that the reason why I wanted to see him was because i love him and i want to take care of him kahit sandali lang?
I dunno why im still holding on...until now...damn it... :( i hate feeling like this...
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