Does The Perfect Girl Exist?

Marie Claire article 113
October 28, 2008 6:54 AM by Rich Santos


I can't find the "perfect" girl because I've created a personality in my mind that may not exist.

My perfect girl could be characterized as a "Tom-Princess".

Here are five contradictions that exist in my imaginary ideal girl:

1. She is very put together, but she doesn't mind coming apart.

I go crazy for girls who look polished on the surface: pretty hair cut straight across the back, perfect bangs with that amazing diagonal slant that almost hides one eye. I love when a girl pays attention to fashion too: jeans with heels, creative looks, or anything that just works for her.

(What catches my attention is a guy who has a polished long hair - not too long for a girl's cut though, umm, how do guys call that hairstyle "clean cut"? As long as he can manage to keep it clean and smell good, it's a turn-on. Most especially if he runs his fingers through his hair "hawi effect" in Tagalog, then stare at me,that guy will surely make my knees weak..haha. I recently find shaved head "kalbo" guys with not much of a goatee - much better if none - attractive and sexy too! As long as it suits them though. hehe =D )

While she's polished, I want her to be able to laugh at herself when she's caught in the rain or when she trips over a rift in the concrete. She's not always dressed up, she'll love to veg in sweats as well.

(Yeah, I want my guy to be goofy and can laugh at himself too whenever he does something stupid/funny just to impress me. A too serious and formal guy will really bore me at an instant. And 'veg in sweats'? Damn, i like to see my guy on that too! haha..so sexy)

She'll basically walk into a room looking like a goddess, but prove to be very down to earth under all of the polish. She's the gorgeous one who can drink with the best of them and get a bit rowdy at a party. She likes to get a martini in a nice lounge or check out fine art, but also likes playing flag football, camping or fishing.

(Well, he should be walking into a room looking like he knows almost everybody, yet he won't forget that he's with me or I am with him and will be more than willing to introduce me to his friends whenever he passed by one. It will always be a girl's pleasure being introduced to her guy's friends. =p He's the guy who can drink with the best of them and yes get a bit rowdy at a party; yet manages to drive me home safe and secure. He won't bother going out with me to a nice lounge, talk anything under the sun and enjoy the ambiance; or check out fine art or watch stage plays, but also likes playing like a child in a mall's Arcade station, camping and travelling with me.)

2. She is really smart, but she doesn't know so much so that I can't show her new things.

Another contradiction: I want to meet a girl who has passion for knowledge and is able to teach me random things, and educate me about life. But, she can't be so smart that I can't bring anything to the table. (Me too!=p)

3. She has structure in her life, but also appreciates goofiness and nonsense.

We all know one of my major weaknesses is that I have no structure in my life. I'm a poor budgeter of time and money. I need to find someone who can provide structure without nagging me. She needs to be like my best guy friends: I go to them for practical advice to balance my thinking that is driven by imagination and gut reaction.

She needs to give me room to make mistakes, and laugh at me because she finds it hard to believe that anyone's mind can be as scattered as mine. But she will be a pillar I can lean on and trust.

(I need to find someone who can guide me(not dictate) through my decisions in life, tell me if what I was thinking is way out of my league and impossible to achieve, and would suggest things on how i can act on my plans without making me feel like a dumb princess. He needs to also give me room to make mistakes, and laugh at me as well.)

4. She seeks intellectually stimulating entertainment, but also loves stupid things that don't make her think.

She needs to have the ability to appreciate the fine arts and expose me to new genres of sophisticated entertainment. But, she also needs to be able to watch goofy films like Sixteen Candles, stupid horror movies, bad TV while making fun of all of it with me. And, of course, she needs to be able to analyze, predict, and appreciate Lifetime movies like my buddies and I do.

(Yup, he needs to have the ability to appreciate the fine arts too and not find it boring and also introduce me to new genres of entertainment in which I may not have known)

5. She needs to be a "girl" but also one of the guys.

This is a delicate mix; I don't want her to be too much of a guy with my friends. At the same time, if she's too prissy I'll get annoyed.

(Well, I dont want my guy to be one of the girls for sure. Haha. Nahh, I just want him to be sensitive enough to understand what a girl could feel whenever he throws tantrums. I want him to befriend my guy friends too. I want him to know my girl friends as well and hope he won't think or imagine anything romantic with them.)

These contradictions are all based on being a princess, polished and perfect, while vulnerable and down to earth. I find that most girls I've met so far in NYC have been too much one way or the other.

When a girl is a total princess, I get annoyed and they come off as icy and inconsiderate. When she's "one of the guys" then she just becomes a friend and I start trying to go for her friends because I can't think of her romantically.

In the celebrity world, the closest person to my perfect girl is Amanda Bynes. She's really cute, and can have that polished look. But at the same time she has a boundless sense of humor and she isn't afraid to flaunt her inner clutz.

Is defining "perfection" in a girl a dangerous proposition? Perhaps I am creating this impossible girl because I'm ultimately afraid to commit. If I make an ideal that doesn't exist, maybe I'm unconsciously ensuring that I won't have a shot at a relationship.

Maybe I just want to date someone who is a really pretty best friend.

Do you think it's possible to find a girl like this out there? Perhaps I just need to find a mix of everything I want, but not have such rigid requirements on how exact this mix needs to be. If you define your perfect guy, is he full of contradictions like my perfect girl?

(Yes. Full of contradictions like your perfect girl too. A little mix of a romantic-manly-crazy-serious-sexy-loving Man is all I ever wanted. Where is he? heehee :p)