To You...

...Who I considered my 'first love', who stayed with me for a year and four months, and made me the kind of person I am right now;

...Who I met and dated years back and made me feel so appreciated and liked;

...Who came back after all these years, making me realize how important I am to you;

...Who showed and taught me how to love again, even for a month;

...Who I thought was just a stranger, and eventually became a good friend;

...Who I never knew will be my mentor, who believed in me and to what I can offer, who inspires me and makes me move forward; as long as I know you're there to guide me, I know I will never go wrong and that I will achieve whatever it is I dream of;

...Who thought I was just another girl whom you can play with; you made me realize that I can no longer stand the type of person you have become and that I have matured to search for another;

...Who still loves me despite of the circumstances we've been through, and made me aware of how you feel;

...Who don't appreciate a single thing I do; you made me realize that I have so much patience stored in me

...Who I loved all this time, despite of the pain I feel whenever I don't hear from you; you made me realize that I can just love, even without expecting anything in return

...Who loves me (whoever and wherever you are); you let me stay alive and happy longing for that day I will get to know you and spend the rest of my life with you

To all the guys I met and been with all these years, and also to everyone of you --- before this day and year ends, I just really want to say THANK YOU for coming in my life, for adding colors to my world and for joining me in this God-filled journey.

I know people come and go and leave footprints in our hearts. I'm just hoping that you will never forget, that once in your life, I walked through and touched your heart in the best way I know how.

May this new year give all of you more blessings and much love to give and receive!
Happy New Year everyone! ^_^

Very Proud to Belong!

the World's STRONGEST Bank. none other than, JPMC

.....British magazine The Banker

A not so Merry Christmas

I haven't been able to attend the Misa de Gallo (Simbang Gabi) since I started working in a call center

I haven't smelled the Christmas scent for years now (some of you know what I mean here. Its that scent that will automatically recharge you and tell you that Christmas is just around the corner)

I haven't felt the Christmas spirit since we started living alone, away from our family
and I haven't been Merry for the past number of Christmas that just passed by.

But...

I have been celebrating with my family every year
I have been meeting up with my friends over and over each year
I have been giving gifts to people
and I have been praying each year for more guidance.

Everything went by so fast. 'Til I found myself crying while watching a midnight Mass on December 25th in front of a television. I don't know what got into me, but at that very moment, I felt like I was just about to die.

Heavy breathing... unstoppable tears... conquered me. My spirit just flew with the wind. At that brief moment, I felt nothing.

While most people are outside drinking, dancing, singing their lungs out, partying and stuff; I was there - alone in our living room - wondering what's wrong with me.

Why don't I feel anything special on that day? Why am I alone? Why can't I be happy like those people outside and drink 'til the wee hours of the morning? Why despite of the text messages I receive and sent out as Christmas greetings, I still didn't feel anything? Why can't I be happy like how I was when I was a kid? Why can't I feel loved and appreciated? Why?

I was thinking maybe one of the factors why I cried so hard that midnight was because of what the Priest had said. That at the time I was asking those why's, he gave me an answer.

"Jesus sees us and feels us. He loves us SO MUCH that he died on the cross to save us." He said that "no matter what we do and what sins we have made, Jesus have and will always forgive us and He will never forsake us."

I realized, He was the one only one who REALLY LOVES ME and who has always been there for me - and that I shouldn't be looking for anyone else but Him.

I felt suddenly surrendering myself to Him that night. My heart, body and soul. I wished to not feel this pain over and over. I felt at that very moment while tears are falling - that I just want to give up. Surrender my life to Him and LEAVE EVERYTHING TO HIM.

At that time, I said, Lord, I'm tired. Let Your Will Be Done this time and not mine.

Gorgeous Slide Show

Just want to share to you this SlideShare Presentation that I received from my office email :)

Gorgeous Slide Show

View more presentations from jha jha.

Madness

Just want to share to you this SlideShare Presentation that I received from my office email :)

Madness

View more presentations from jha jha.

The Hardest Thing To Say To Someone

Just want to share this SlideShare Presentation that i received from my office email :)

The Hardest Thing To Say To Someone

View more presentations from jha jha.

My Escape

120409
6PM
Makati

PRELUDE:

We met again. That guy who always makes my heart skip a beat everytime he shows up. That guy whom I thought was the person I long been waiting for. That guy who let me fall in love again after years of being alone. That guy who brings out the best in me whenever I know he's there to be proud of what I've achieved.

oOo

He was wearing a casual attire this time. Oh, I remembered because that was a Friday. He still looked gorgeous (on his chucks, jeans and longsleeves polo) as he was when I saw him last year with his business casual getup. He still have that smile I fell for. But his eyes reflected that he was really not feeling well.

I wanted to kiss and hug him so tight, that very moment I entered his car. But something pulled me back. I wanted to tell him everything - how happy I am to see him again after a year, how I appreciate the fact that he made time for me - even just for a while. I really wanted to kiss him so bad and tell him I miss him. But I didn't.


We started talking after a while. The usual "how are you doing" and "what's been up with you"question between long-lost friends were the first words that came out of our mouth. We talked about the bridal shower I hosted. The "demo" I should've done with him in front of my friends - which didn't happen. We talked about basic things. What we did on that bridal shower, and stuff about me. We never talked about our feelings - as if there was to talk about on his end, I wouldn't know.


But there I was, seating on the passenger seat, staring at him while he talked, wishing he look at my direction and see through me. He didn't.

He just asks me questions and answers back whenever I ask him why he got sick. That's it. I can say that that was the dullest conversation I ever had. I just can't make him do the talking.

121409

A TEXT MESSAGE

I just received a message from him. He was confined in the hospital for 5 days. I was glad to hear from him that he's doing fine now and I was glad that he made me aware of his situation - even if its too late.

I wanted to take care of him while he's recovering from sickness; I wanted to be there and see him get well. I wanted him to realize that despite our contradicting schedules, I can make a way to be there for him --- because I want to. But I guess, he doesn't.

I don't know if he's hiding something from me. I don't even know if he sees or feel me...

Or yeah, maybe most of you already know it. He's just not into me.

Coz he WAS that guy. That guy...who maybe, never really fell for me...at all.

122109

SIGNING OFF

This was one of those days where I just go out and check my sites and emails in an internet cafe for about 3 to 5 hours til I feel tired and sleepy. And yeah, part of it was to see if who among my friends are online too and have a simple chat and get connected.

I saw his name pop up (Clark Kent is now online). When I checked his status - Busy. So I just gave him a short message and like asked how he was recovering from his sickness. Knowing that he wont respond right away and thinking he might not respond at all, I closed the message window after a few minutes.

But he did. After about like an hour or two, he said he was okay, though he still coughs and that he's working while at home. I was delighted when I saw that message window active again. Its been so long that I was able to catch him online. He asked what am I doing, why am I online and if I was off for the day. I said I just waited for him to respond before I logout to know if he's okay or if he's already back in the office; and that my shift starts tonight from my Sunday off.

I started asking questions again - thinking it will be a good time to know him more and his plans for Christmas. I asked where will he and his family be on Christmas day. He answered he do not know yet. I asked if his siblings will go home from the states, he said he don't know. Then he asked why do I want to know.

I learned that if someone asks you "Why do you want to know?" it means that they don't want to answer your question and you better not insist. So when I saw that, I know I asked a wrong question. Yet I answered back, and the reason was that I just want to know more about him (his life, about his family etc).

Hence, what I thought was a good start, ended up by him - Signing off.

oOo

I felt crushed. Even if this was not the first time he did that, I felt like I was so dumbfounded this time; it was like, that's his only way to let me know he doesn't want me to be a part of his life at all. And it was like I was too numb to even realize and feel it through his actions.

I know I might be overanalyzing these things, but I was really hurt. As I said, it was not the first time he signs off whenever we're in the middle of an online 'conversation'; and this does not include yet the times that he will just suddenly stop replying after long exchange of text messages.

oOo

But you know what? This could be my first time... to let him go.

Like what Tom's friend said in the movie 500 Days of Summer, "the only way to let a girl go (in this case, to let a guy go) is to turn him into literature". Now that I've written much about him since last year, I can say that before this year ends, I am ready...

to finally move on and wait for the guy who will be worthy of this attention that I am giving him; and to whom I may finally be worthy of.

This is my escape.

I am still the captain of my ship and I am still the master of my soul.

-The End-

What I've Learned

It's Thanksgiving day tomorrow. Not much of calls are coming in. I just want to share another nice email forwarded to me in the office :)

I've learned
That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.


I've learned
that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.


I've learned
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.


I've learned
that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life
that counts.


I've learned
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.


I've learned
that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.


I've learned
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.


I've learned
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.


I've learned
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.


I've learned
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.


I've learned
that learning to forgive takes practice.


I've learned
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.


I've learned
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.


I've learned
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.


I've learned
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many years you've lived.


I've learned
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.


I've learned
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.


I've learned
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.


I've learned
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.


I've learned
that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.


I've learned
that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.


I've learned
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.


I've learned
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.


I've learned
that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.


I've learned
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.


I've learned
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.


I've learned
that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.


I've learned

that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.


I've learned
that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

Sharing the ABC's

I received this email from a team mate during the time I was thinking so deep and alone on my station. This indeed made my day - when I realized all I had to do was just to bring back my faith and to ask for more guidance from Him. Read on and I hope you get to share this to everyone you know, just like I did. Bless you! :)


THIS IS ONE OF THE NICEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL USES OF THE ALPHABET THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DID. HAVE A GOOD DAY! Whoever came up with this one must have had some divine guidance

lthough things are not perfect
ecause of trial or pain

ontinue in thanksgiving

o not begin to blame

ven when the times are hard
ierce winds are bound to blow

od is forever able
old on to what you know
magine life without His love
oy would cease to be

eep thanking Him for all the things
ove imparts to thee
ove out of "Camp Complaining"
o weapon that is known
n earth can yield the power

raise can do alone

uit looking at the future
edeem the time at hand

tart every day with worship
o "thank" is a command

ntil we see Him coming
ictorious in the sky

e'll run the race with gratitude
alting God most high

es, therell be good times & yes some will be bad, but...

ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!" The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Love and peace be with you forever, Amen. : GOD LOVES YOU...PASS THE WORD ON TO MORE ^_^

Puerto Princesa, Palawan - Part 2

Welcome to our Day 2 Palawan Adventure!

FIRST STOP: HUNDA BAY

We were asked to bring our chosen snorkles and goggles from the hotel's available stock to get ready to see what's underneath Hunda Bay and other islands we're going to this day. Upon arrival, we also took our own rubber-like step-ons(i don't recall the name), because as what Kuya Albert said, it's better to be safe than go home with wounds from unidentified water species that could bite us or we might step on them while exploring the ocean.

Here, they're talking about which size fits them... :)

Edward trying out this one

Getting ready for the first boat ride

Unfortunately, I'm not yet done putting my lifevest. That's why I look like this..hehehe

Me and Harhar - we were like survivors from whatever..wahahaha...left in the middle of the ocean..yet managed to make a Japan pose..haha :D

Woohoo! Just finished exploring Hunda Bay and seen all their nice coral reefs. I didn't see much of the fishes,though, but that's alright. We have two more islands to check out!

SNAKE ISLAND

This is where Edward took the video on the first part of this blog. Though I wasn't able to see the exact shape of the island forming a snake, I was advised that it's best to capture it from above (while riding a plane that is - sigh).

The following pictures were taken while we're snorkling, feeding and looking at beautiful and more fishes in the ocean.

This Starfish just appeared in the middle of nowhere. Next thing we know, it's more than one :)

Walking through the shore, I noticed a very nice scenery on the far right of this island. clean water, serene space. No wonder why we noticed a few couples scorching through the far-end of this place (having a private time with each other maybe). hehe

Of course we have our own set of couple too. Myrtel and Edward is one of them. Here's a shot :)

And this lovely dog where I also don't know came from, lovingly posed for me. hehehe :)

I don't want to leave the place without a nice jump shot. Here's Sager and Peaches :)

PANDAN ISLAND

The prettiest of them all - Pandan Island has everything you need for a good beach vacation. Not so crowded, beautiful ocean and coconut trees, and also a nice spot for snorkeling - made me feel like I am living in Paradise :)

See how edward enjoyed this place :)

We did too!

More jumpshots :)

Just feeling the sand and the heat. hehehe

And this is what they call a "Three-of-a-kind" tree :) so I took advantage of it...heheheh :D

Last Supper @ Mang Inasal

We got tired on our 2nd day and was so hungry that we craved for food,food,food! hehe. Due to budget constraints, we decided to settle on a fine dining resto with unlimited rice - Mang Inasal. Ü

We saw Kuya Albert and his family too! So nice of him to drop by and introduce his cute kids. They were really shy. We understand. Hehe

Sidetrip to the Sports Complex

We didn't want to go back to the hotel yet. So me, Sager, Myrtel and Edward decided to roam around the place and checked on their park and sports complex. We were greeted by their tall Christmas Tree and people doing some bicycle stunts on the other side of the place.

We were like kids as we took pictures at the playground, and found a cute view inside the slide Ü

Click on the subject line to see more pics on our second day! :D